Daily Idea

How to Pick Up a Girl on MySpace

Back in the 70s you could roll into the bar wearing platform shoes, polyester, ask a girl what her sign was and get her digits. Now we all live in our own little worlds and if you approached a girl like that you would probably get pepper sprayed. Where is a guy to turn to use his pure cheesiness to pick up the opposite sex? MySpace of course!

MySpace can act like a dating site for people who were marked as too unpure by eharmony or too cheap to pay for match.com. It is a place where even the most desperate can luck up and find somebody.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hi, I’m Nikki Key and you are watching another edition of the Daily Idea.

The dating scene isn’t what is used to be. Back in the 70s you could roll into the bar wearing platform shoes, polyester, ask a girl what her sign was and get her digits. Now we all live in our own little worlds and if you approached a girl like that you would probably get pepper sprayed. Where is a guy to turn to use his pure cheesiness to pick up the opposite sex? MySpace of course!

MySpace can act like a dating site for people who were marked as too “unpure” by eharmony or too cheap to pay for match dot com. It is a place where even the most desperate can luck up and find somebody.

First off you need to establish your profile and persona. You need to make sure you get the right picture, so take off your shirt, suck in your stomach, and get in front of the mirror. You get bonus points if the flash distorts your face!

And I almost forgot, don’t forget to wear your hat slightly askew, because we ladies really dig that. Besides the traditional mirror picture make sure you have one with you popping your collar, nothing says now and hip more than a popped collar.

Next up, make sure you litter your profile page with pinup models, Tila Tequila pics, and other random hot girls. By doing this, you show the ladies you have high expectations for your dates. And remember girls, guys with false expectations and unattainable dreams are better than guys without any expectations or dreams.

Now that you have your profile set you need to go on the hunt and try to find Miss Right or more likely Miss Right now… Actually more like Miss I am desperate and crave the attention and approval I couldn’t get from my father.

The question is how do you find this girl? Here are some tips.

Number 1 - Find a girl that writes a lot of poetry and posts it for the world to see. These girls are begging for attention and you are just the guy to give it to them because their “art” really speaks to you.

Number 2 - Look for single mothers or women going through a divorce because those cougars need love too.

Finally, any girl that takes risqué pictures and posts them all over her profile is begging for attention.

However these girls are young and hot and probably have about 5 to 7 guys on the line along with you. So your best bet is to find the poetry writing, newly divorced, single mom that takes risqué pictures and posts them all over her profile.

One final tip: make sure you are actually talking to a girl of legal age. Nothing will kill your dating life quicker than a date with Chris Hansen on “To Catch a Predator.”

So there you have it, a totally depraved guide to how to date on myspace. Now just stay far away from my profile.

And that is another Daily Idea.

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