Daily Idea

President’s Day: Ron Paul, Obama, Madonna & Furniture

Seems like Presidents Day is a big deal for government employees who get the day off and raging alcoholics who’ll use any excuse to get hammered on a Monday. Presidents Day goes all the way back to the 1880s when the Federal Government added it to the calendar to honor the birth of George Washington. In the 1980s, we added Abraham Lincoln to the mix.

And how do we honor these great men? With the time-honored tradition of deeply discounting grossly overpriced furniture. Seriously, what is it with furniture stores and Presidents Day?

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hi, I’m Nikki Key and you’re watching the Daily Idea. Today is the 18th, the third Monday of February which makes it…you guessed it…(fake excitement) Presidents Day. (person clapping off camera)

(Smirking and dry) Yay. Presidents Day.

I guess Presidents Day is a big deal for government employees who get the day off and raging alcoholics who’ll use any excuse to get hammered on a Monday. Presidents Day goes all the way back to the 1880s when the Federal Government added it to the calendar to honor the birth of George Washington. In the 1980s, we added Abraham Lincoln to the mix. So, today we’re specifically honoring the contributions of George Washington and Abe Lincoln but only generally recognizing the 41 other stiffs that once occupied the oval office.

And how do we honor these great men? With the time-honored tradition of deeply discounting grossly overpriced furniture. Seriously, what is it with furniture stores and Presidents Day? Is there something patriotic about furniture? I’ve never heard of a loveseat rescuing POWs or and end table standing up for civil rights. Anyway, I digress.

Since it’s Presidents Day, we thought we’d review the current state of the Presidential race. For the GOP, the soon-to-be nominee is John McCain. He has a long way to go getting conservatives to vote for him in November, but he has the party nomination in the bag. For whatever reason, Mike Huckabee continues to hang around apparently because he enjoys wasting money. And, still riding an enormous wave of support thanks to Daily Idea’s recent endorsement, Ron Paul continues to get literally dozens of votes in each state. Who cares? McCain’s going to be the guy for the Republicans in September.

On the Democratic side, it’s a mess. But, after thirty five states, you’d rather be Barack Obama than Hillary Clinton. Hillary’s been taking a beating these last few weeks and apparently she’s getting campaign advice from a magic 8 ball.

“Would it help to cry again? (shakes 8 ball) ‘Outlook not so good.’”

“Should I bring up Obama’s drug use? (shakes 8 ball) “’Signs point to No.’”

“Oh, screw it.(while shaking 8 ball and somewhat desperate) Will I be the first woman president in history? ‘My sources say No.’”

(pauses)

“Is Bill cheating on me again? (shakes 8 ball) ‘Better Not Tell you Now.’ Of course.”

(back to just Nikki)

Looks like it’s going to be Barack is in August while Hillary becomes this generation’s version of Geraldine Ferraro.

In November we’ll pick a new President, and, according to George Bush’s approval rating, sixty six percent of the country can hardly wait. If you’re in that sixty six percent, maybe you should take today off and cool down a little. Take a deep breath. Go have a drink. Maybe buy yourself something nice. Might as well get yourself a new bedroom suite while the sale’s still going. C’mon, it’s your duty as a good American.

And that’s another Daily Idea.

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