The Typical Neighbor’s Christmas Card
December 20th, 2007 Posted in HolidayHallmark rakes in the dough as people around the globe mail greeting cards to friends and family. Each year, we receive the typical cards… some play music, some have popups and then there is the Ellisons’ card! They are what not to do with your card.
Hi I am Nikki Key and this is the Daily Idea.
It’s almost Christmas and the folks at Hallmark are raking in the dough as people around the globe mail greeting cards to friends and family. This time of year it’s nice to go the mailbox and see the new arrivals, but some are a little predictable.
My Uncle Ira’s card is always funny with a little dirty humor. My cousin Blair, well… his card usually includes a “pull my finger” joke with Santa or the elves and is usually humorous… to him. Some cards these days play music, pop ups or have political figures in the jokes, but there’s always that one card… well it’s actually more of a photocopied letter that sticks out.
This year’s “personal touch” came from our neighbors, the Ellisons with their annual family newsletter. And honestly what is more interesting than reading a newsletter from people you only bump into at neighborhood watch meetings?
Apparently it was a banner year at the Ellison household. Mr. Ellison got that big promotion he was shooting for at work. Of course he didn’t get it through hard work, they just fired everyone above him after the corporate merger and moved him into the bosses role because they could underpay him. Meanwhile, Mrs. Ellison set a personal record at the church bake sale. According to the letter her pecan pie was out of this world, and really this is a total unbiased source.
The kids hung in there this year with little Jenny learning to play the clarinet even though Mr. Ellison was forced to buy earplugs to put up with all her practice. Tommy made the baseball team and is looking to start at second base; little do his parents know that he has already made it there with that trollip down the street Sara.
Now one of these oh so personal photo copied letters wouldn’t be complete without a little adversity. And we have it here with Rex the dog being diagnosed with spinobifita. Wait a second, can dogs even get that? They think he is going to pull through though, which is good I guess. I don’t know if I could live in a world with Rex running unleashed through the neighborhood pooping in our lawns and digging up our flower beds.
So there you have it, the Ellison families wrap up of 2007. Believe me we are even less excited than you are; we actually had to read this multiple times. In closing remember next year a hand signed Christmas card goes a lot further than photocopied tripe. Here is to Tommy reaching third base and Mrs. Ellison learning to bake something decent in 2008.
And that’s another Daily Idea.






One Response to “The Typical Neighbor’s Christmas Card”
By Ryan Kempf on Dec 21, 2007
Dear Nikki I lke the little bloppers at the end