We usually turn to our own team or external experts for insightful tips. But today, we asked pop singer and mommy expert, Britney Spears to share her wisdom on being a parent. Britney called in to teach us all about raising a child.
Hi, I’m Nikki Key and you’re watching the Daily Idea. Responding to repeated requests to our inbox…(baby crying)…ugggh, not again…well, today’s topic was going to be can’t-miss stock tips, but I’m too tired for that. Now that I’m a big time online actress, I decided to accessorize with a baby. It’s not mine. I’m just borrowing it from my assistant for a few weeks to see how it goes. The jury’s still out.
I’ve been getting some tips on motherhood from Britney. We met at Promises a few weeks ago. Oh, sorry, I’m not supposed to talk anyone I met. So, to protect us legally, let’s just call her “Jaime Lynn.” Jaime Lynn taught me a lot. She sent me this email just yesterday. “The first thing,” she said, “is that being a parent is about convenience. You must schedule your c-section,” she said. “You might even need to go ahead and do it before you get pregnant.”
Once you get your baby home, they grow up real quick especially when you’re not around. Try to see your kids every month. If you miss a month, like if you have to leave for Vegas in the middle of the night, mail your nanny your CD cover or the front of Us Weekly with your picture on it. Tell her to show it to your baby during the commercials of Nip/Tuck.
Be prepared for your baby’s first time stuff. My baby learned to roll over on a pile of coats at a party. At least I figure that’s how he got under the bed. He crawled away from bottle rockets going off in the house. He learned to walk down to Starbucks to get me coffee. He can dial nine one one. He can close the blinds by himself when I’m hungover. I’m telling you to cherish the little things. But, even if you don’t catch them on video, you can usually see them on Access Hollywood.
It’s important to keep your kids safe at all times. Like with car seats. When your child is in a moving vehicle, he should always be in a car seat or in your lap. Either is fine. If you let him steer while you work the pedals when he’s young you never know. He might be able to rush you to the emergency room some day. I’m just saying, think about it.
That safe environment that we talked about also means good nutrition and hygiene. Children need both. It’s easy to give your kid apple juice every time he cries. I do. But ask yourself, “Am I being a responsible parent? What would Tyra do?” So, I cut down on sugar by filling up his sippee cup with Diet Coke at night. Instead of water, which provides no nutrition, now we do chocolate milk or Yoo Hoo.
As for hygiene, children need to learn about proper grooming. It’s never too soon to teach your son when it’s appropriate to shave: like right before going back to rehab or before you get out of a cab. (That’s hot.)
Teeth brushing is important too since most American dentists won’t do teeth whitening on kids. I have to take my kids to Mexico. I just don’t think it’s fair my kids should be picked on at pre-school for having dull brown baby teeth. I told him it’s ok to get veneers if he wants ‘em, but I said “it’s coming out of your allowance,” which is only five thousand dollars a month. You need to teach your kid about responsibility, Nikki.
Being a parent is about being honest with your kids even if it’s through a court-ordered chaperone. Good luck with the baby, Nikki. You’ll do good. XOXO. And it’s signed Jaime Lynn.
We hope you found these tips beneficial. I know I did. (sound of crying again, Nikki looks exasperated)
(Holding a baby bottle) Anyone have any Benadryl?
And that’s another Daily Idea.