Daily Idea

Business Buzzwords: How to Sound As Smart As Your Boss

Want to climb the corporate ladder faster? Should you get another degree or work longer hours? No, silly! Today’s fast track takes so much more and like it or not, you have to impress your boss. So, we’re offering you the best shortcut by learning business buzzwords, so you can fake it before you make it.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hi, I’m Nikki Key and you’re watching the Daily Idea. Today we’re here to make you smarter at work. Well, actually we’re here to make you sound smarter. And, as long as you sound smarter, your co-workers will think you are smarter. So, get ready for A Daily Idea crash course in improving your business vocabulary.

Bob 1: It’s good to see you, Ted. Thanks for coming in.
Bob 2: Ted, here at Worldwide Global International, we think it’s important to take new team members through a short orientation.
Ted: (nodding)
Bob 1: We’re the seventh largest widget distributor in the south central Ozark region, Ted. The people of southern Arkansas and southwestern Missouri have certain expectations of us.
Bob 2: We look a certain way. We Act a certain way. Most importantly Ted, we talk a certain way.

To fit in in the white collar world, purge smaller words from your vocabulary. When a one syllable word will work just fine, replace it with a three or four syllable word. After all, bigger words come from bigger brains. Two words to get rid of: use and get. Replace them with utilize and garner. Let’s watch the pros in action…

Bob 1: Ted, we want you to utilize your sizeable talents out there in the sales field to garner new business.
Bob 2: Utilize every advantage at your disposal. You can utilize your blackberry to make calls and garner your email. Utilize your GPS to help you arrive at your next location more…um…expeditiously.
Bob 1: Ted, we even garnered you a laptop to utilize. Just think of it as a portable computer.

Now that you’re a pro at making short words longer, you need to learn to make long words shorter. The key is acronyms! Acronyms are everywhere in business. TQM, RFP, WWJD. You get the idea. But the mother of all business acronyms you must know is ROI. ROI actually means return on investment, but when you use it, you’re practically screaming, “Look at me everybody! I’m smarter than you. I skipped fourth grade!” You’ll want to Ulitize “ROI” often.

Bob 2: Ted, let’s talk about ROI. ROI is why we do what we do.
Bob 1: ROI is why we get up in the morning. ROI is always there. ROI rides with me in my car. ROI sits next to me in the staff meeting.
Bob 2(interrupts): Sometimes, when I travel for business, I call ROI to meet me in my hotel room.
Bob 1: Oh, yeah (nodding). Definitely. My conference in Vegas last week…tons of ROI!
Bob 2: Ted, you need to embrace ROI. We do.
Bob 1: Hell yes, we do.

Once you’ve mastered ROI, you’re going to be shocked how quickly you move up. Now it’s time to start talking about accountability. Accountability is a fancier way of saying blame and it’s five more syllables. Middle management takes accountability. Upper management talks about taking accountability. If you’re going to make it to upper management, you’d better start talking about new ways to hold other people accountable.

Bob 1: Ted, we believe in accountability. We believe people need to be empowered – sometimes against their will – to accept accountability.
Bob 2: We believe accountability starts when people get in a room with a catered lunch to talk about what it means to be accountable.
Bob 1: Ted, you can’t start being accountable until you start talking about being accountable. Accountability starts when we can have an open and honest discussion about it on a twice-weekly basis.
Bob 2: You understand, Ted, what separates us from other widget distributors is our willingness to talk about being accountable.

So, now you know what it takes to sound like you know what it takes to make it in the business world. As always, we hope you’re able to utilize today’s information. If you did, garner yourself a beer on us. If you know other big business words we should pass along to our viewers, let us know at daily idea.tv.

And that’s another daily idea.

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